Caldiem is a mischievous Goblin with a mondo dong who absolutely does not wear pants. Caldiem works the mascot of the city of Caldeum where he seems to have a lot of power. Caldiem has the authority to kiss anyone he wants and will guide you to The Nipple Room (his pleasure palace), and for 2 gold coins he will take you to The Party Room, "where anything goes".

Caldiem also has items to trade such as souls, prophecies, information, lanyards, and cool rocks. The cool rocks are enchanted and have red and blue faces painted on them with a non-toxic acrylic lacquer.

In episode 41 it is revealed that Caldiem is horny for puzzles and has quite an addiction to them, though his want for them usually goes down at around 7:30pm.

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